“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.” – Alexander Den Heijer
Discipline in schools has long been centered around compliance and consequences, often overlooking the emotional and psychological experiences of students. Traditional punitive measures like detention, suspension, and zero-tolerance policies assume that students are making conscious choices to misbehave. However, research in neuroscience and psychology has shown that for many students—especially those who have experienced trauma—behavior is often not a deliberate choice but a response to unprocessed stress, fear, or dysregulation.
Trauma-informed disciplines seek to address the underlying causes of student behavior, ensuring that interventions support emotional regulation, self-awareness, and long-term behavioral changes. This approach does not excuse negative behavior; rather, it helps educators hold students accountable in ways that foster growth, healing, and resilience.
Understanding Trauma and Its Impact on Behavior
Trauma, whether from abuse, neglect, exposure to violence, loss of a loved one, or chronic stress, can significantly impact a child’s brain development and emotional regulation. The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) study has demonstrated a direct link between childhood trauma and long-term difficulties, including behavioral challenges in school (Felitti et al., 1998).
Children who experience trauma often operate from their brain’s survival mode—the fight, flight, or freeze response. This means:
- Fight: A student may react aggressively or defensively, seeming “disrespectful” or “defiant.”
- Flight: A student may try to escape the situation, whether by leaving the classroom or mentally shutting down.
- Freeze: A student may become unresponsive, unable to engage in learning or social interactions.
Educators who understand this dynamic can shift their response from punitive reactions to strategies that help students regulate their emotions and re-engage in learning.
Shifting from Punishment to Support
A trauma-informed approach to discipline recognizes that punitive consequences often do not teach students the skills they need to manage their emotions or behaviors. Instead, it emphasizes regulation, connection, and accountability.
- Regulate First, Respond Second
Instead of immediately addressing the behavior with consequences, focus first on helping the student regulate their emotions. When students feel overwhelmed, their ability to think logically is impaired. Trying to reason with a dysregulated student often escalates the situation.
Strategies for Regulation:
- Offer a calm-down space where students can self-regulate.
- Use breathing exercises or mindfulness techniques.
- Speak in a calm, measured tone rather than raising your voice.
- Give students choices, such as “Would you like to take a break at your desk or go to the calm down area for 2 minutes?”
- Building Strong Connections
Students with trauma often struggle with trusting adults, especially in moments of stress. Establishing safe, predictable, and supportive relationships is key to fostering behavioral change.
Ways to Build Trust:
- Greet students by name and with warmth every day.
- Use restorative conversations rather than “shaming and blaming” lectures.
- Offer check-ins, “let me know how I can help you”
- Recognize effort and progress, even in small ways.
- Accountability with Compassion
Holding students accountable is essential, but it must be done in a way that is constructive and solution-focused. Trauma-informed discipline ensures consequences are logical and help students learn from their mistakes rather than feel shamed or abandoned.
Examples of Constructive Consequences:
- Instead of out of school suspension, a student who disrupts class could write a reflection about their actions and how they impacted others.
- Instead of suspension, a student who engages in bullying behavior could participate in restorative justice circles, where they acknowledge harm and commit to making amends.
- Instead of immediately removing a student from an activity, offer co-regulation strategies to help them reset and try again.
Trauma-informed discipline is not about lowering expectations, it is about changing how we respond to students in distress. By prioritizing regulation, connection, and accountability, educators can create learning environments where students feel safe enough to grow, reflect, and succeed. Instead of pushing students away through punitive measures, we can guide them toward better choices while helping them build resilience and emotional intelligence.
A school that embraces trauma-informed practices is a school where students not only learn academics but also develop the skills to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and support.
Professional Development for Staff: If your school or organization is interested in training to support student behavior, click here to schedule a 15-minute chat with Shauna King.